Farm.FM

MADISON, Wis. — Cow show romance has overtaken dating apps as America’s most durable marriage market, according to the National Institute of Bovine Matrimony, an organization headquartered wherever somebody has left a clipboard. Its highly

LYRICS: Barbie Was Born in a Barn Parody by Bale Harrison & The Texas Field Hands Music and Lyrics by Alan Nafzger Barbie Was Born in a Barn -- She wasn’t raised in Malibu, no shiny pink Corvette... DOWNLOAD

Lyrics: Tumbleweed Performed by Debbie “Hayride” Harper & The Prairie Songbirds Tumbleweed - DOWNLOAD (Verse 1) You blow in like the wind, never stayin’ long, Your restless heart's been wanderin' since the day you were born. No roots to hold you

Dairy Milk Prices MADISON, Wisconsin — A dairy farmer watching customers spend more on bottled beverages than on a gallon of milk has launched a daring marketing experiment: the same milk, but with a fancy story

JACKSBORO, Texas — A cattle breeding app developed by rancher Pete Calder promises higher yields, better matches and fewer awkward pasture silences. In the first field test, a bull received twelve expressions of interest, eleven

HUTCHINSON, Kan. — Barn cats at the Keller grain farm have petitioned for a union after the county unofficially described them as essential workers. Their first demands include a warm place to sleep, a second

SHAKOPEE, Minnesota — After another drought-related agricultural disaster designation, local farmer Glen Rusk asked federal officials to recognize the most persistent natural disaster on his property: the monthly mortgage statement, which arrives with more consistency

AMES, Iowa — Harvest season is expected to bring a bumper crop of unsolicited advice from city relatives, according to the privately circulated Northridge Family Almanac. The forecast calls for early remarks about how nice

Welcome to the War Room - Real America's Voice (RAV) Performed by Debbie “Hayride” Harper & The Prairie Songbirds Welcome to the War Room -- DOWNLOAD   Verse 1 It’s ten a.m., and I’m feeling the heat, Tuning into The War

SALEM, Oregon — With avian influenza continuing to concern dairy producers, one imaginary herd has submitted an unusually organized labor proposal: paid sick leave, a quieter milking parlor and the right to sleep until sunrise

DECORAH, Iowa — Robotic milking has freed dairy farmer Linus Gade from the clockwork of the old parlor and introduced him to the thrill of being paged by a cow that knows when he is

DES MOINES, Iowa — America's corn farmers received another economics lesson after a USDA outlook pointed toward less corn and a lower projected price. Producers had previously believed that a smaller supply might, on occasion,

LEVELLAND, Texas — Palmer amaranth reached the top of Clyde “Straight Row” Mercer’s fence before the interest on his tractor loan cleared the second page of the statement. Mercer called the discovery proof that West

CLARENDON, Texas — A ranch drought drove a record crowd into the volunteer fire hall for the county’s annual Blame-the-Weather Town Hall. All folding chairs were occupied, a development the organizers attributed to high public

WEST TEXAS. A rancher who spent $18,000 modernizing his barn has discovered that artificial intelligence can perform almost every chore except the one he needs: opening the gate when a bull is approaching and his

MARSHFIELD, Wis. — When milk prices came up at breakfast, dairy farmer Ruth Brenner said the cows were finally receiving a cost-of-living adjustment. It was an unusual announcement from an employer who pays in feed,

NORTH TEXAS. Old MacDonald had a farm. E-I-E-I-Oh, never mind. It is now a gated subdivision with 146 identical houses, three decorative windmills and one actual cow who keeps being reported to neighborhood security for

SALINA, Kan. — An agricultural cooperative considering the replacement of a grain scale adjourned unanimously after its directors heard somebody start a pickup outside. Eight directors reached the same door together. A ninth, who had

WICHITA FALLS, TEXAS. A local organic grower has unveiled a fourteen-dollar head of kale, forcing customers to decide whether they are buying a vegetable, a luxury handbag or partial ownership in a small agricultural corporation.

ABILENE, Texas — Rising feeder cattle prices have prompted one West Texas rancher to reassess the family balance sheet. The house has three bedrooms, a leaky roof and a kitchen faucet that whistles. The calves

AMARILLO, Texas — Americans are paying premium prices for beef, yet the people raising cattle continue to study restaurant menus as if they were rare historical manuscripts. One Panhandle rancher recently asked his waiter whether

WICHITA COUNTY, TEXAS. A missing goat named Pickles has achieved local influencer status after escaping through a sagging ranch fence, posing atop the town’s feed-store delivery truck and refusing to return to what his new

WICHITA COUNTY, TEXAS. After fourteen noise complaints, six sleepless households and one neighbor threatening to move his bedroom into a storm cellar, a local rooster has hired a public-relations firm to reposition his daily screaming

WEST TEXAS. Rancher Harold McCray has spent eleven years perfecting his ability to communicate with cattle. His cows have spent eleven years pretending they cannot hear him. The arrangement is working beautifully for the cows. McCray

WAIKATO, New Zealand — A dairy farmer has discovered a business model more promising than waiting for milk prices to rise: invite city visitors to watch cows eat grass and charge admission to an activity

WICHITA COUNTY, TEXAS. County fair officials have added a new livestock-show division for exhibitors who failed to read the instructions, following a record number of chickens entered in the rabbit show, three upside-down chicken coops

EDMONTON, Alberta — Rural political frustration has inspired a new marital metaphor: Alberta farmers would like to separate from Ottawa, but only after determining who gets custody of the roads, the tax forms and the

CALGARY, Alberta — Canadian cattle producers debating livestock traceability have raised an urgent constitutional question: if the government can follow a cow across three provinces, why does a rancher's permit disappear between two desks in

WASHINGTON — Congress has made an astonishing discovery: crop insurance costs money. Lawmakers examining whether premiums could be fairer have encountered a fact farmers have been explaining since the invention of the invoice. The investigation

SACRAMENTO, California — California has discovered that farm fertilizer can be measured in several different ways, prompting growers to wonder whether the state will soon send separate invoices for each mathematical possibility. The breakthrough has

LANCASTER, Pennsylvania — As Thanksgiving approaches, American farmers have issued a modest seasonal request: gratitude is appreciated, but the people growing dinner would also accept a purchase order, a fair price and payment before the